Showing posts with label squire. Show all posts
Showing posts with label squire. Show all posts

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

what is that? lipstick?

oh god... oh god, what is that? it's just so... wrong. wrong because of the shit-eating grin. wrong because of the lloyd christmas haircut. wrong because of the antlers. the glasses. the little peg ears. the fleshy-hoofed body. wrong because of the wang-ness. so, so, so wrong, and yet kind of right. it's lesley.

lesley is german. he's also a one-of-a-kind hand-painted resin monstrosity. eleven inches of... height, and one or two of something else. he's admittedly stomach churning, but somehow pretty damn awesome. sculpted and painted by andy of denada, lesley is for sale on their site for $535.

who wants to ride lesley in the 7-legged race?
nobody? come on...
it's not bad, he moisturizes.

dear lord, think of the extra creep factor of braces and headgear.
a champion's a champion. hard to argue there.

you gave him tiny infant balls but no butthole?

so tell me you aren't just a little intrigued now. how sweet would it be to have a lesley and a squire side-by-side in your guest room to wake your grandparents next thanksgiving. or just in the middle of the living room to freak the fuck out of your dog. think of the possibilities!

squire image from NOWhere gallery
tell me that's not a match made in heaven...


a special thank you to andy for making my tuesday special.

Monday, August 3, 2009

giants of vinyl.

here's to the pillars. the bold who have stepped beyond. experimenting with toys that could crush a child. toys that bring a tear to a grown man's eye... giants of vinyl.

click to explode. (in size)

class picture. [salari ika by frank kozik] [tom cruise] [pain by coarsetoys] [dissected by kaws] [dunny by kathie olivas] [large martin by ashley wood] [giant squire by jermaine rogers]

the eeriness goes up by at least 36% when you take a creepy-ass figure and inflate it to nightmare proportions. the awesomeness however, also goes up by 36%, so i guess it's a wash. i wanted to shed a little light on these rarely seen behemoths, as most of them end up in the houses of people who are cooler than you. so here they are. from smallest to biggest.


large martin by ashley wood and 3A toys
also comes in chocolate and vanilla.

image from 3A catalog
large martin has been touching down on doorsteps over the past couple of weeks. retailed at $300 and stands an impressive 20" high. seriously, pull out a ruler. 20" is way bigger than you think. there were 5 different variants, all of which rule. thank you mr. wood. you have done it again.


giant squire by jermaine rogers
needs proactiv... look at that sheen!

image from now where art
one of the most quietly disturbing sculpts ever. rumored to gobble souls while you sleep, the giant squire was released last year. only 30 were made, which means you can't have one. but don't give up hope, it's important to have dreams. or night terrors.


dissected by kaws.
[regular sized mono version shown below]

image from clovis!
the classic. enlarged to epic proportions. adding to the army of non-dissected kaws companions. the newest 4-footer just dropped for anyone with about $4000 burning a hole in their jordaches. in my opinion, the coolest piece of vinyl kaws has released so far. word is, that the mono and black dissecteds will also make the leap to foster-child size. fingers crossed.


giant dunny by kathie olivas
sweet and terrifying. you will get bit.

image from kidrobot
not actually released to the public. this 4-foot dunny was done as part of a live painting demonstration at krny. miss kathie was kind and brave enough to show off her talents in front of the drooling masses. i doubt you can buy it. or fit it through your front door. too bad, it's awesome.


salari ika from frank kozik.
...less threatening on a dolly.

sdcc09 saw this guy sneak in the back door. 5'6" tall. he'll run you about $4k and might actually still be available due to his newness. but for 4k, i'd like him to fill in at work for me. which won't happen until his mothership lands.


tiny tom cruise action figure!
comes with real mini-bike!

image from cathy g1
an official 5'7" or so. unofficially an alien midget. he is actually for sale, but you have to agree to sit in on "auditing" sessions to reach a "state of clear" in the land of buttholes, or some other equally worthwhile activities.


1:1 pain by coarsetoys
still fucking awesome.

image from coarsetoys blog
already covered this badboy, but how can you not give bloody a little more love? standing a legit 6 foot, he will happily invite you into his world of pain. mark it 8 smokey.

so what have we learned here today? simple math.
start with awesome + make it bigger = mind numbing awesome.

if you're really lucky, santa might drop one of these in your living room one year. but don't hold your breath.


class picture done by mastodon. with images taken from these nice people. not that they had a choice. salari ika. pain. dunny. dissected. large martin. squire.

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