cough to get off.

you know how when you're sucking on a cough drop and the middle melts

before the edges and it gets really sharp and starts cutting your tongue but

it's so delicious that you can't stop so you end up with a lacerated idiot tongue?

yeah, of course you don't.

that's what this bag full of red jade mongolions is going to do once they're unleashed on the internet tomorrow... cut the internet's tongue, real bad too.

seriously, you better snag one of these sexy beasts quick.

they go on sale 11am pst tomorrow.

ssssexy monglowlion.

coded message for SSSS members.

この男のルール。

for those of you like me who are not a member,

[it stands for super seven secret society]

this is the next guy they get and i'm jealous.

he reminds me of every awesome GID i never had as a kid.

and there's still no mongolion on my shelf

to keep my muscamoot company.

candy coated chokehold.

why can't i quit you mongolion? you're just too badass. especially this screaming bruise of a beast by l'amour supreme, who's got some serious warpaint. this exquisite little demon was tossed up on flickr by pata the frenchman; who has quite the colorful collection [seen below] and a slick eye with the camera. nice little treasures for a friday afternoon.

he's been practicing his haka face.

or unleashing a hellacious fart.

either one.

these are not the toys you're looking for...

actually they are, but he looks like he's pulling a jedi mind trick.

aaaand the money shot.

amazingly colorful, like a class full of middle schoolers in d.c.

except without all the making out in the back of the bus.

you gotta respect the power of the dark side.

is that neon in your eye?

the fantastical photographs of zincsaucier442

i'm particularly floored by the stark contrasts and

the delightfully non-cheesy things he does with a black light.

secretbase x usugrow rebel ink

you'd shit at the horrors under my bandanna.

super7 x l'amour surpreme mongolion

ate a bass boat this morning. ever since, i've had this lovely sparkle.

t9g x tim biskup rangeas

been out drinkin liquid metal.

zigo

watching the children boil...

t9g x tim biskup rangeas

watch out ladies, these tips are freshly frosted.

rumble monsters x lash bop dragon

i'm thinking of a number between 1 and 10.

wrong, it was 9. now i eat you.

t9g x tim biskup rangeas

off to audition for where the wild things are.

kaijin musyubel x 2

tweedle dee and tweedle awesomer.

sworn to silence

coarsetoys jaws

the calm before the storm...

coarsetoys paw [blackout : pain : rainbow]

caught red, gold and rainbow-handed

coarsetoys pain

sad because he's out of muscle milk.

secretbase x usugrow salvation ink

these wings will never burn out.

beautiful work sir.

get his latest on twitter.

by the power of greyskull.

i was a he-man kid. i was also a star wars kid, a lego kid, a baseball card kid... you get the picture. but for a few short summers it was all he-man all the time. in between popsicles my neighbors and i would wage epic battles in the dirt, building caverns and pits. then birthdays came and they got greyskull. and i was jealous. but shortly after, my parents redeemed themselves and bought me skeletor's castle: snake mountain. you know, the purple greyskull with the sweet microphone that made it sound like you were a possessed slinky. after that, our dirt building escapades were elevated to moats and dungeons... way fucking cooler.

so with that long ass intro, we get to the real meat. apparently other kids liked he-man too... as evidenced by these sweet customs in all the flavors of eternia.

mighty mugg he-man by legendary customs

the pageboy haircut is the real source of all his power.

battlecat by legendary customs

...just a cowardly tiger who stole hawkman's mask.

skeletor madl by rebel wookiee

does crest make whitestrips for your face?

also, needs more havoc staff.

beastman mongolion by d-lux

blue feather diaper and all...

trapjaw scavenger by jonpaulkaiser

somehow tougher with a birthday hat than his purple football helmet...

skeletor rxh by motorbot

who knew he was rocking a mohawk under his little hood?

stinkor rxh by motorbot

gotta rub a little stank on it.

put your hands together for my childhood toys grown into my adulthood toys. i fully expect someone to pump out a queen marlena in astronaut gear sometime soon... or at least an orko.

i gotta go dig through my parents basement now...

the monster in the closet.

last week i put my bulls-eye on kaiju and nobody took the bait. so i'm taking my case to a higher court. here are three completely kick-ass monsters [giants count as monsters] that i "get." there's no explanation necessary. they just fucking rule.

[disclaimer: these may or may not be considered real kaiju. i haven't waded into the shark tank at skullbrain to find out. i'd like to keep my fingers and toes.] [so if i'm wrong, please tell me... that's what that comment button is for]

mongolion: king of the snakes of infinity

l'amour supreme bronze patina

that. is a game face.

awoken after 3000 years of slumber... he's ready to go.

a snarl that can wake the dead.

and a shiv for an arm? that's no joke.

the sculpt in all its naked glory.

l'amour supreme og

licking the blood from his sword.

i is in ur tv.

and with my next trick. i introduce the bop dragon from rumble monsters. devilish grin, muscular armor and a neck that would make he-man jealous.

mike sutfin sdcc version

made for one thing. devouring.

sea bop from dustin cantrell

the kraken on crack.

pissing into the wind.

clear vinyl with shit tossed inside has never really appealed to me.

it makes everything look like a kmart gumball machine... until now.

this guy eats tanks. not shitty plastic beads. tanks!

clear eater version

someone find me an industrial strength toilet...

nevermind.

i save the best for last. how hardcore is this?

the super7 jumbo machinder stormtrooper

in proto form. sign. me. up.

a year later... much more refined, just as hardcore.

he's got a firing fist! i would've sold my sister

for one of these when i was 7.

call me a doll and i'll gut you.

we're gonna need a bigger boat.

brian flynn walks us through the journey that birthed the jumbo.

three kings in their own right, brought together out of love. mongolions and bop dragons have been flying all over the place in every colorway imaginable. keep your eyes peeled because the best ones go fast. don't expect mr. machinder to stick around long either. you better cross your fingers that there is one left to sit under your christmas tree this year. keep checking the super7 blog for updates.

jumbo images from don solo and fiends ain't families

clear eater images from clutter

og mongolion images from zincsaucier